We are attracted to the type of person we are “trained” to be attracted to. Most people would disagree with this statement but only because they haven’t really thought about it. Our idea of handsome and beautiful is as much a result of our culture as our taste in fashion. The model for the Mona Lisa was considered the ideal beauty then, but today we would call her a fatty. The media speaks of the beauty of Marilyn Monroe but if she were trying to break into Hollywood today she would need Jennie Craig. We are shown images over and over again and we are told this is beautiful, this is handsome and like the cattle we are—we believe them.
The average female model weighs up to 25% less than the typical woman and maintains a weight at about 15 to 20% below what is considered healthy for her age and height. The average American sees 40,000 of these images every year. Not only does this have a negative impact on the self esteem of many girls but a study from the University of Missouri has found that these same female images have a negative impact on males as well. As with girls it makes them feel self conscious and inadequate—never good enough.
We see so many representations of these ideal, emaciated, underfed, heroin, crack addicted women that we begin to believe that this is true beauty. What I am saying is we are allowing our society, our culture, to tell us what beauty is. What happened to Americans being independent free thinkers? Wives begin to feel that if they don’t emulate this modern ideal of beauty then their husbands will leave them for someone younger and prettier. Let me just say this. Men do not leave their wives because their wives aren’t beautiful any more. Was Tiger Wood’s wife ugly? No, men leave their wives because they lack character, integrity, and yes godly ideals.
Let me propose this. If society can train me into to thinking that something boney and undernourished is beautiful don’t I have the power to train myself otherwise? Yes. Our appetites, our tastes, our ideals of beauty are learned. If you look at other women and allow yourself to believe that they are beautiful you will become dissatisfied with your wife. But, If you look at your husband and wife and tell yourself—he or she is the ideal of handsomeness or beauty—tell yourself and believe it—it will not only reinforce the truth in your heart and mind. It will strengthen your marriage. This is what the bible means when it tells us to think on things that are good, just, pure, holy, etc…
Men if you will train yourself to think biblically you will discover deeper joy and satisfaction in your marriage—emotionally and physically—than you could have ever imaged. Ladies the same is true for you. Can the heart help what it wants? Yes it can because it wants what it is trained to want. Let’s train our hearts to want our mates more deeply than ever before.
